Elevator Entourage
by Lady Genjutsu
Summary: Budehuc Castle's elevator occasionally malfunctions. Poor Borus. If nothing else it's fun and slightly ridiculous. (Part V now uploaded!)
1. Floor One

Disclaimer: That's right, Konami owns all the characters, and I own zip. Big surprise.  
  
A/N: I wrote this when I was getting a little frustrated with one of my other fics that I am in the process of writing. This is the first time I've ever attempted to write anything remotely funny, so please review and tell me if it was interesting at all.  
  
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Elevator Entourage  
  
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It was a bright and sunny morning in Budehuc castle when eight of the castle's residents boarded the elevator on the first floor.  
  
"Where is Shizu?" Chris asked the other seven when the elevator doors closed behind them.  
  
"Um. Well. It would appear that Shizu fell ill earlier this morning." Explained the young castle master, Thomas. "Tuta thought she should have the day off."  
  
"I can't say I blame her for wanting a day off." Commented Aila. "It must be awful boring to stand around in this elevator all day!"  
  
"I should think it would be!" Added Borus. "I'm glad I don't have her job, as I don't particularly like small, crowded spaces. It's long enough for me to be in her for one minute."  
  
"Don't tell me that Borus, the 'swordsman of rage', one of the mighty six Zexen Knights, is a claustrophobic!" Nash exclaimed with a sardonic smirk. "At any rate, I should think that this contraption is easy enough to operate on our own." He added, ignoring Borus's spiteful glare.  
  
"Well then, if that's the case, could someone kindly push the button and get this thing moving? I have things to do and places to be!" Lilly snapped.  
  
"So do we all." Queen pointed out, but sighed and said, "Jacques, could you? I think we're all heading for the ship."  
  
Jacques, who was standing right beside the panel that controlled the elevator, pushed a button, and the elevator began to descend.  
  
Everyone was silent for a moment as the elevator continued to descend. Suddenly, it came to stop. The seconds passed. The doors did not open. Someone coughed. "Is it supposed to take this long to open?" Chris asked.  
  
More silence.  
  
"Is there a button that opens the door?" Aila asked when to doors still remained closed.  
  
Thomas scratched his head. "I don't think so. I think it's supposed to open automatically.  
  
"Ugh! You people!" Lilly huffed, and pushed her way over the panel, shoving Jacques rudely out of the way. "There must be an emergency button that opens the doors. Here, see?" Lilly pointed triumphantly at a button on the panel that read 'open doors'. She pushed it.  
  
Nothing happened. She pushed it again. Again, nothing.  
  
They all stared at the door in despair.  
  
"Splendid job." Nash commented wearily. "Where would we be without you?"  
  
Lilly shot him a death glare. "Shut up! The doors must be jammed!"  
  
"Excellent deduction." Nash sighed, and leaned against the wall of the elevator. "Looks like we're going to be here for a while, until someone notices we're missing, or that the elevator isn't working."  
  
"What do you mean, we're going to be here for a while? I can't stay in here!" Borus exclaimed, unable to disguise the evident panic in his voice.  
  
"Not so big and tough now, are you, you butchering ironhead!?" Aila spat, taking advantage of the situation to mock the knight she despised.  
  
"Aila, not here. . ." Queen muttered.  
  
Borus turned on the girl with rage. "Watch your tongue, girl!"  
  
"Make me!" Aila hissed, and lifted her chin in defiance.  
  
However, Jacques took her by the arm and gently pulled her back, shaking his head in warning.  
  
"For your information, I am not claustrophobic! I just. . . have important duties to attend to!" Borus stated with an air of importance.  
  
"Like?" Queen prompted.  
  
Borus glared at Joker. "I am acting as Lady Chris' escort this morning!"  
  
"Escort? In our own castle?" Thomas asked meekly.  
  
"My escort?" Chris echoed, obviously unaware of the fact until now.  
  
"Yes, of course milady! You know I don't trust most of the ruffians at this castle with you!" Borus explained, casting an accusing eye at Nash.  
  
Nash crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side, more amused by the subtle accusation then offended. "Ruffians? Ah, you mean to say you don't trust her with a 'ruffian' like me? Are you sure you didn't mean 'rival'?"  
  
Borus bristled with indignation. "I beg your pardon? I daresay, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about!"  
  
"And I daresay you do." Nash replied.  
  
"Well I certainly don't!" Chris exclaimed.  
  
However, the two continued arguing, oblivious to her cry of bewilderment.  
  
"What are you implying, sir!?" Borus almost shouted.  
  
"As if it wasn't obvious to everyone in the castle, the way you trail around behind her like a lovesick puppy." Nash replied coolly.  
  
"Lovesick puppy?!" Borus bellowed. "*You're* the one who hangs around outside her room in the hallway day and night!"  
  
This seemed to strike a nerve and Nash lost his composure. "You are much too possessive and unrightfully so!"  
  
"You have no business looking at her the way you do! As I understand it, you are a married man!"  
  
"And as I understand it, you are a haughty, foolish, sanctimonious bastard! I don't know how Chris or the other knights can put up with you!"  
  
"Stop this nonsense at *once*!" Chris cried, exasperated and flustered by the argument. Her face was a deep shade of crimson, but whether it was due to rage or embarrassment, no one could say.  
  
The two men both looked at her as though noticing she was there for the first time. Everyone else in the elevator was staring at them with mixed expressions of irritation and disbelief. Both men muttered a rather insincere apology and sheepishly backed away from each other.  
  
"Thank Goddess that someone shut them up!" Lilly shouted. "I'm not sure how much more of their ridiculous melodrama I could take! They were giving me the biggest headache!" The two men glared at her, but she continued, oblivious. "Never have I known such incompetence! Except, maybe with Reed and Sams! I'm going to kill those imbeciles for this!"  
  
"Um, how is it their fault that the elevator doors are jammed?" Thomas dared to ask.  
  
Lilly stared at Thomas with annoyance. "They should have realized that I've gone missing and saved me by now!" She replied, as though the answer was obvious.  
  
"But we've barely been stuck for ten minutes!" Queen said incredulously.  
  
"Ten minutes too long!" Lilly replied. "They should know where I am at all times! They should be worried sick about my whereabouts and searching every nook and cranny for me, and I bet they're goofing off somewhere!"  
  
The other seven occupants of the elevator exchanged glances, and wisely decided not to comment on Lilly's indignation.  
  
"What were you headed to the ship for Lilly?" Chris asked casually, still trying to keep her mind off of the earlier humiliating feud between Nash and Borus.  
  
"I was going to Goro's to take a bath." Lilly replied, full of self- importance.  
  
"I thought you said you had important matters to attend to?" Aila asked, scowling.  
  
"Excuse me, my relaxation and hygiene *is* very important, thank you very much!" Lilly retorted and pointed an accusing finger at her. "And where, may I ask, were you headed that was so important?"  
  
Aila suddenly looked bashful. "I never claimed to be. . . That is. . . It's just. . ."  
  
"Well? Out with it!" Lilly prompted, quickly tiring of Aila's incoherent muttering.  
  
"It's. . . Well, Jacques wanted to show me the view of the lake during the sunrise. . . He says it's quite the sight."  
  
"Like a date?" Queen asked, and continued, apparently unaware of the fact that Aila was becoming quite embarrassed with the topic. "I always knew there was something going on between you two, I remember when-"  
  
"It's not like that!" Aila interrupted, flustered. She sheepishly looked back at Jacques, who was staring at the ground. Despite the fact that he seemed expressionless, his face had turned a brilliant shade of scarlet.  
  
"Heh heh heh." Lilly chuckled at Aila and Jacques obvious discomfort.  
  
Aila was overtaken by anger for the second time that morning. "What are you laughing at, you conceited aristocrat!"  
  
"I beg your pardon? How dare you speak to me that way!"  
  
Chris attempted to intervene. "Lilly calm down, we're all getting stressed out because of the elevator. Don't take it personally."  
  
"Who asked you?!" Lilly retorted, pointing a finger at her.  
  
"How dare you speak to lady Chris that way!" Borus exclaimed.  
  
"It's best not to get involved, Chris." Nash whispered.  
  
"You should take it personally, I meant every word!" Aila shouted at Lilly.  
  
"Get away from lady Chris, ruffian!" Borus boomed when he saw Nash whisper to Chris.  
  
"Borus, stop making such a big deal out of everything!" Chris cried.  
  
Nash turned to Borus, his expression one of malice. "Must you continue to be such a self-righteous bastard in such trying circumstances?"  
  
"Looks like it's not only the Grasslanders who think you're full of it, you idiotic ironhead!" Aila taunted.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm not done with you!" Lilly shouted at Aila.  
  
"Aila, stop making trouble." Queen hissed, losing her patience at all the fighting around her.  
  
"Queen, can't you help me stop all this fighting?" Chris asked loudly, since it was hard to be heard over all the arguing.  
  
"You're the Flame Champion, you do something!" Queen shouted back.  
  
The arguing continued and intensified for the next ten minutes. Thomas sank to the floor in the corner, trying his best to stay out of it. "I didn't even want to go to the ship." He muttered to himself. "I wanted to go to the library!"  
  
Through all the fighting and arguing, no one noticed Jacques as he calmly made his way over to the panel. He removed the panel and fiddled with a few wooden cogs behind it, eventually removing a piece of metal that had been stuck in the cogs, preventing the door from opening. Then, just as calmly, he replaced the panel and pushed the 'open door' button.  
  
The elevator doors swished open, as though there had been nothing wrong in the first place.  
  
Everyone the elevator fell silent immediately, their astonished stares switching continually between open elevator doors and Jacques.  
  
Oblivious of the stares, he touched Aila's arm and guided her out of the elevator.  
  
The other six stumbled out of the elevator after him, still trying to comprehend what had just happened. Regardless of their confusion, they were grateful to get out.  
  
"Now that I'm out of here, I'm going to hunt down those two buffoons and give them a piece of my mind!" Lilly exclaimed.  
  
"Geddoe is going to wonder what happened to me." Queen said, shaking her head, which was now aching terribly.  
  
"I can't even remember why I was going to the library now." Thomas muttered.  
  
"Another moment with that hooligan and I think I would have drawn my sword!" Borus added.  
  
"Now I'm a hooligan?" Nash groaned.  
  
"From now on, I take the stairs." Chris groaned. Then glared at Borus and Nash and added, "Without 'escorts'!"  
  
"Jacques. . . If you knew how to fix the elevator why didn't you say something?" Aila asked him.  
  
Everyone turned his or her attention back to Jacques, anxious for his answer.  
  
Jacques paused, then shrugged nonchalantly. "Nobody asked."  
  
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A/N: Because it was written at 1:30 in the morning, I suggest you don't take too seriously. It was my attempt at humour, but it's probably only mildly witty at best. At any rate, I apologize for any out of character- ness and grammatical errors. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated but keep in mind that this is my first humour fic, so be gentle.  
  
Thanks again! ^_^ 


	2. Floor Two

A/N: I was originally just going to make Elevator Entourage a one-shot, but I just couldn't resist writing this 'sequel'. I hope you like it!  
  
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"What are you whining about? It's just an elevator!" Percival argued with the blonde-haired knight in front of the open elevator doors.  
  
Borus glared at the dark-haired knight beside him. "I'm not whining! You try being stranded forever in a crammed elevator. Let's just take the stairs."  
  
"As I understand it, you were stuck in the elevator for a grand total of twenty minutes. That's hardly forever."  
  
"It felt like forever."  
  
"We have to take the elevator, otherwise we're going to be late for Salome's meeting. Besides, that all happened weeks ago! What are the chances of it happening again? You have got to get over this claustrophobia," Percival pointed out.  
  
"I'm not claustrophobic!"  
  
"Excuse me, but are you two tin-heads going into the elevator, or are you just going to block the entrance-way and bicker like some old married couple?"  
  
The two knights turned to see Caesar standing behind them with his arms crossed.  
  
Borus looked as though he were about to run the cheeky redhead through with his sword, but Percival moved aside from the elevator entrance, and came between Borus and Caesar.  
  
However as Caesar passed them, Percival scowled at him. "You may be a reliable tactician from a renowned family, but you're still young and obligated to show those with authority the respect they deserve. Watch your tongue in the future."  
  
"Shut it, gale boy. I don't have to stay in this hole of a castle you know. I'm helping you hopeless lot out of the goodness of my heart," Caesar replied without so much as looking at Percival.  
  
"Why you-" Forgetting his phobia, Borus sprinted into the elevator to tackle Caesar, and Percival followed, and tried to hold Borus back.  
  
"Hello! Have you three come to ride around in this little room too?"  
  
The scuffle stopped as Borus, Percival, and Caesar all turned to see the elder Viki.  
  
"Viki, what are doing here?" Caesar asked.  
  
"This room is magic! When the doors shut and open again, you'll turn up in a different place! It's just like teleporting! I've been riding in it all morning."  
  
The three exchanged glances.  
  
"It's called an elevator, Viki." Percival said slowly to the girl.  
  
"The magic room's name is Elevator? How strange."  
  
"Argh, I'm out of this wretched elevator," Borus stated, and turned to leave.  
  
Viki spoke up in protest. "That's not very nice Sir Borus. You might hurt Elevator's feelings."  
  
Borus was just about out of the elevator when he crashed into something very solid. Backing up a little he saw he had just walked into Hallec.  
  
"Sorry! I didn't mean to get in your way, my son!!! WAHHHHH!!!" The large man walked into the elevator, unintentionally pushing Borus back into Percival.  
  
Right after Hallec entered, Cecile ran in. The little dog, Koroku, was at her heels, panting happily.  
  
"Don't close the doors yet!" she called. "I have to go upstairs and find Thomas to give him the latest report."  
  
"Right, let's get this rickety excuse for a lift moving," Caesar said, pushing the 'up' button on the elevator as Cecile and Koroku ran in.  
  
Borus stiffened and tried not to show his discomfort, as he was standing in the middle of the elevator surrounded by six other people and a dog.  
  
The elevator ascended smoothly for the first few seconds, and Borus suddenly realized something.  
  
"Does anyone know where Shizu is?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Cecile said. "She's acting in one of Nadir's plays. She didn't want to do it, but Nadir really had his heart set on her doing the part." She shrugged.  
  
"But what will we do if-"  
  
"Borus," Percival interrupted, "We're already halfway there. The elevator is not going to st-"  
  
Percival was cut off as there was a loud clanking noise and the elevator came to a jerky halt.  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
Koroku whimpered. "Aroo?"  
  
"Uh-oh." Viki said finally. "Sir Borus, I think you made Elevator upset."  
  
"No..." Borus muttered. "Not again, please!"  
  
"WUAAAHHHHHHHH!!? What's going on!!!" Hallec shouted.  
  
"I'm sure it's just a temporary glitch. It will probably start moving again in a second..." Percival said with a hopeful shrug.  
  
"I wouldn't count on it," Caesar replied, shaking his head.  
  
Borus grabbed Caesar by the shirt. "You! How do we get out of here???"  
  
"How would I know? I'm a battle strategist, not an elevator repair man! Let go!"  
  
"You claim you have the brains to get us out of any sticky situation, so get us out of here!" Borus cried, shaking Caesar.  
  
Percival grabbed Borus and pulled him off of Caesar. "Borus, get a grip!"  
  
"I hate it in here!" the claustrophobic knight cried.  
  
"Wait I do have an idea," said Caesar calmly.  
  
"You do?" Borus asked, all the aggression leaving his face.  
  
"I do. Listen carefully. First, you stand in the middle of the elevator... Percival, and Hallec will stand on one side, Viki, Cecile and I will stand on the other."  
  
Borus was listening intently. "And then what?"  
  
"And then we grab a hold of you, flip you horizontally, and use your thick head as a battering ram to open these elevator doors."  
  
Borus felt a twitch developing under his eye, and it was all he could do not to rip the spiky haired punk apart then and there.  
  
"How is it that I end up stranded in the elevator with yet another wisecracker?" Borus growled. "And I thought no one could surpass Nash in arrogance or sarcasm."  
  
"I have a question," Viki said suddenly.  
  
They all turned and looked at her.  
  
"Don't you think we might hurt Sir Borus if we ram his head into the doors?" she asked airily.  
  
Borus looked as though he were going to explode with rage, although Caesar and Percival looked as though they were suppressing a laugh.  
  
"Um... Viki," Cecile said softly.  
  
Viki looked thoroughly confused. "Huh?"  
  
"That's it!" cried Percival. "Viki, you can teleport us out!"  
  
"Isn't Elevator teleporting us?"  
  
"Just get us out of here!" Borus cried.  
  
"Out of where?"  
  
"The elevator!"  
  
"You want me to teleport Elevator?" Viki asked, blinking.  
  
"WAAHHHHHHH!" cried Hallec suddenly.  
  
"I hear you Hallec," said Percival, rubbing his forehead. "I'm feeling the same way right now."  
  
"Look, Viki, all you have to do, is teleport the seven of us out of 'Elevator' and back into the castle," Cecile said slowly.  
  
But Viki wasn't listening. Her face was contorted in a strange expression, and her mouth was open.  
  
"She's... She's going to sneeze!" Cecile cried.  
  
"Oh no..." said Percival and Borus together.  
  
"WAAAAAAAHHH!"  
  
"ARROOOOOOOO!"  
  
Then it happened. "AH-CHOOO!"  
  
Next thing Borus knew, he was face-first on the elevator floor and there was a very heavy weight on top of him... Something feathery.  
  
"Kueeee???"  
  
"Borus!" Pericval called. "Are you okay?! When Viki sneezed, it looks like she teleported Fubar in here."  
  
The elevator was now so full now that the large griffon was in it that barely anyone could move.  
  
"Kueeeee!" cried the confused griffon.  
  
"Mmmmph!" Borus' cries were muffled, and he was unable to breathe.  
  
"Oh, hi Fubar!" called Viki happily, "What are you doing in here?"  
  
"This is just great!" Caesar exclaimed. "I'm trapped in an elevator with a bunch of birdbrains!"  
  
"KUEEEE!"  
  
"I'm sure he didn't mean it as a personal insult to you, Fubar," Cecile patted the griffon on the beak.  
  
"MMMMPH!" called Borus from somewhere under the griffon.  
  
"I wonder what's wrong with Sir Borus?" Viki wondered aloud.  
  
"Stop standing around and help me get this griffon off of Borus. He can't breathe!" Percival called at the others, pushing Fubar with both hands, but having no success in moving him.  
  
Cecile put her arms around the griffon's neck and pulled in the direction Percival was pushing, but there wasn't enough room for the griffon to move.  
  
Hallec grabbed the griffon around the middle and with the help of Cecile and Percival, lifted the Griffon off of Borus.  
  
The young knight gasped for air, and he looked as though he was about to have a nervous breakdown.  
  
"I. Must. Get. OUT OF HERE!"  
  
He grabbed one of Hallec's axes and started hacking madly at the elevator door. This proved to be quite dangerous, because each time he swung the axe, the others had to move to keep from being hit by it. It was even more difficult being that there was barely any room to move.  
  
"Ah.ah-ah--!" Viki looked like she was going to sneeze again.  
  
"Nooo! Viki please, no more!" shouted Cecile.  
  
"Arooooo! Arooooo!" Koroku was howling, confused and frightened at the ruckus going on around him.  
  
"WAAHHHHHHHH! Give back my axe!" Hallec yelled at Borus.  
  
"AHHH-CHOOOOOO!" sneezed Viki.  
  
There was a great jolt in the elevator and everyone lost their balance, crashing into the person (or animal) next to them. However, when the elevator stopped shaking, there were still only the eight of them in the elevator.  
  
Borus still hacked frantically at the elevator doors with the axe, and as the others watched him, they truly worried that the unfortunate man had lost his sanity.  
  
Finally the elevator doors gave way and the eight of them tumbled out - into the courtyard's fountain.  
  
Once again, Borus found himself being crushed. This time, it was by six people, a dog, and a griffon, and to top it off, he was drowning at the bottom of the fountain.  
  
"Borus is drowning! Quick, everyone get off!" Cecile cried from somewhere within the mass of bodies.  
  
"Remove your elbow from my stomach, and I would be glad to oblige," choked Caesar.  
  
"When Viki sneezed that last time, she must have teleported the entire elevator into the courtyard!" Percival cried.  
  
"KUEEEE!"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" exclaimed Hallec for what must have been the hundredth time.  
  
"Arroooooo!" Koroku squirmed out of the stack of bodies and splashed around in the fountain.  
  
After another minute or so of complete chaos, they finally managed to crawl out of the fountain, and save Borus from a watery death.  
  
"Borus are you alright?" Percival kneeled beside Borus, who was laying on the ground, gasping for breath.  
  
"Do you think his mind snapped?" Caesar asked with a smirk.  
  
"It's not funny! What if he really did snap?" Cecile asked, fearfully.  
  
Percival was still concentrating on Borus. "Borus, how many fingers am I holding up?"  
  
Borus raised an eyebrow, as Percival wasn't even holding up his hand. "None."  
  
Percival nodded. "Where were we going just now?"  
  
"To Salome's meeting."  
  
"I know now isn't the time for me to break this to you, but you must know. Nash and Chris eloped."  
  
Borus bolted upright. "What?!? That dirty, conceited, bigamous, hooligan! I'll have his head for deceiving Lady Chris!" However, when Borus saw Percival's grin, he fell silent and realized Percival had been only been testing him.  
  
Percival smirked and looked back at the others. "Yeah, he's alright."  
  
Caesar raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"  
  
Percival nodded. "Positive."  
  
"Well I guess we should go report this accident to Master Thomas," Cecile sighed.  
  
They were all about to leave when Viki spoke up.  
  
"I have a question."  
  
"Yes Viki, what is it?" asked Cecile.  
  
Viki pointed at the broken-down, displaced elevator. "Shouldn't we take Elevator to the infirmary?"  
  
They didn't even bother to answer her, and they walked away, leaving Viki pointing at the elevator sitting in the middle of the courtyard's fountain.  
  
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A/N: Once again, this was written late at night when everything sounds like a good idea for a fic. I think it was a good deal crazier than the first one though. 0_ o No one is going to believe I like Borus as a character after reading this... But I do, really! I like Borus a lot! It's just... Well as I stated in another one of my fics, is fun to write about him getting into a jam.  
  
Anyway, I hope you liked this okay, leave me a (friendly) review to let me know!  
  
Thanks for reading! 


	3. Floor Three

A/N: Thank you so much for all your kind reviews! I couldn't resist writing this one, I'm really starting to get attached to this fic, ridiculous as it may be. ^_^  
  
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Roland slowly made his way towards Budehuc castle's elevator. He had heard many strange stories about the elevator lately, but he wasn't sure how much of it to believe. He did know that the elevator had been out of commission for some time, but since he had been away from the castle at the time, he wasn't exactly sure why. Regardless, it was very late and he was very tired; he really didn't feel like walking up a flight of stairs to get to his room.  
  
He was just about to push the button to make the elevator doors open, when there was suddenly a loud eruption of sound, and three people came walking around the corner down the hall; Anne, Borus, and Ace.  
  
In actuality, only Anne was walking. Borus was staggering, and Ace was barely standing, much less walking. Anne and Borus were attempting to hold him upright while they made their way down the hall. They were talking very loudly, or at least the two men were, and Roland realized with dread that they had just come from the tavern.  
  
He sighed as the three made their way towards the elevator. As they drew closer, Roland could hear what they were saying. Borus was telling a story to the inattentive Ace, and his voice was much louder than it needed to be.  
  
"See, this elevator right here! Got trapped in it twice! Twice! And the second time I trapped was under a two-hundred pound griffon!" Borus pointed accusingly at the elevator, apparently unaware of Roland's presence.  
  
Borus seemed to lose his balance and staggered slightly to the side, pulling Ace and Anne sideways as well.  
  
Ace was muttering, oblivious to Borus' horrific story. "So I told 'er, I said, 's'not my fault, she purshued me firsht!' Tha's what I shaid."  
  
The blonde, curly-haired bartender looked up at the Zexen elf with a desperate smile. "Good evening, Sir Roland."  
  
"How much did you let them drink?" Roland asked incredulously as Anne and the drunken duo finally made it to the elevator.  
  
"Too much," Anne said, shaking her head. "Sir Borus' judgment is off, as is his balance, but this one here," she nodded towards Ace, "he's completely sloshed!"  
  
"Annie baby, you're the woman of my dreams, jus' one more drink, pleeash!" Ace slurred, leaning more heavily on Anne.  
  
"Don't you dare call me 'Annie' again, if you know what's good for you! Sir Borus, could you please get back here and help me hold up this drunken buffoon?" The Karayan woman certainly had her hands full. Roland vaguely wondered how often Anne had to deal with these 'sloshed' men.  
  
"Not if you're going in that bloody elevator!" Borus exclaimed. "I'm taking the stairs!" The blonde man came to the foot of the stairs, but when he lifted his foot to ascend to the first step, he stumbled sideways and knocked a plant vase off of the table beside him.  
  
Roland shook his head and grabbed the young man's arm to steady him. "Borus, you couldn't make it up those stairs if you're life depended on it. You're coming on the elevator with us."  
  
"I can't hold this drunken fool any more!" groaned Anne as Ace's weight caused her to collide with the wall.  
  
"I'll help you, Anne," a pleasant female voice suddenly said.  
  
The sober knight turned to see the young elf, Nei, take Ace's other arm and helped Anne steady him. Roland's heart skipped a beat as her eyes met his. He had conversed with this lovely musician on several occasions, and they two of them had hit it off quite well.  
  
However, right now he felt rather embarrassed to be seen with his drunken comrade, who at the moment was making a second, feeble attempt at ascending the stairs, and doing just as miserable a job of it as before.  
  
"Miss Nei," Roland whispered, just as Borus lost his balance again and collided into him.  
  
Nei giggled slightly. "Good evening Sir Roland."  
  
"Please excuse my comrade," Roland grumbled, steadying Borus and pushing him towards the elevator. "It appears he has... overindulged tonight."  
  
"You can't make me go in there!" Borus exclaimed, struggling in Rolands grasp.  
  
"Borus, get a hold of yourself!" Roland hissed, thoroughly humiliated by Borus' display in front of Nei. "What would lady Chris think if she saw you like this?"  
  
"Lady... Chris?" Borus blinked, and from the silence that followed, Roland figured he had slipped into some kind of daydream about their Captain.  
  
"Such dishonorable behavior for a warrior," came a new voice.  
  
They all turned to see the Chief of the Lizard Clan, Dupa. He was looking disapprovingly at Ace and Borus.  
  
"I'm inclined to agree with you on that," Roland sighed.  
  
"I think we should go upstairs and get these two to their rooms," Nei suggested.  
  
The sober among them murmured an agreement, and Dupa pushed the button to open the elevator door.  
  
The door slid open to reveal Landis and Jeane.  
  
"Yuh huh huh... Going up?" the Winghorde asked.  
  
Roland nodded. "Yes, but beware, we have two intoxicated men among us."  
  
"Jeane!" Ace called as Nei and Anne pulled him into the elevator. "You're the woman for me! I shent you a letter..."  
  
"Heh heh, yes it was quite amusing, thank you," Jeane replied to the drunken man.  
  
"A-amushing? I put my heart an' shoul into that letter!" Ace whined.  
  
While Anne and Nei easily dragged Ace into the elevator, Borus was giving Roland a much harder time.  
  
"You don't understand, I *can't* go in there! Release me, or I'll tell lady Chris! She'd understand, she was stuck in here too... Yeah, she'd understand!" he said loudly.  
  
"What, you'll tell her we forced you to take the elevator because you were too smashed to take the stairs?" Anne asked, having finally grown agitated with the knight.  
  
"I was taking the stairs, but they're not level I tell you!"  
  
With the help of Dupa, Roland finally managed to push his comrade on to the lift.  
  
With so many in the elevator, Roland found his shoulder was crammed against Nei's. He felt his face heat up, and silently prayed to the Goddess Sadie that Borus would not have any more drunken antics inside the elevator.  
  
The doors closed and Borus' face went as white as a sheet.  
  
"I hate small spaces... I hate them."  
  
"Yuh yuh yuh, because there's no where to run when the Grim Reaper comes?"  
  
"Landis, please, he's a handful as it is without you playing up his fears," Roland said.  
  
"I have no fears! I just have dislikes! And elevators are a strong dislike!" Borus exclaimed hurriedly. "You'll see! You'll know soon enough!"  
  
The elevator hadn't been ascending for more than ten seconds before there was a loud banging noise and the elevator rattled to a stop.  
  
There was a long moment of silence. Dupa jammed the 'open door' button repeatedly, but the door remained firmly shut.  
  
Most residents in the castle had heard of stories concerning Borus' apparent claustrophobia, and so everyone stared at him, afraid of what he would do.  
  
But the Blonde knight just banged his forehead against the wall of the elevator. He let out a deep sigh.  
  
"I can't even get a break when I'm drunk."  
  
"This is just great," said Anne. "There's eight of us stuck in this tiny elevator, two of us are completely wasted, and it's got to be past midnight. It can't get any worse than this!"  
  
The lights flickered out and it became pitch black inside the elevator.  
  
There was complete silence, but one could bet that everyone, drunks included, was glaring at Anne through the darkness.  
  
"yuh yuh... Grim Reeeaper..."  
  
"Can it, Landis!"  
  
"Where's Shizu anyway?" Roland asked.  
  
"She probably went to bed. You can't expect her to run this thing all night long," replied Jeane with a sigh.  
  
"She hasn't been here any time I've ever taken the elevator!" Borus moaned. "I don't even know what she looks like!"  
  
"She's one fine woman, that Shizu," slurred Ace out of nowhere.  
  
There was the sound of Anne jabbing her elbow into Ace's ribs. "Just shut up, Ace. We've heard enough out of you!"  
  
"What do we do now?" Nei asked.  
  
"Yuh yuh yuh. Let's tell ghost stories! I'll go first..."  
  
"I think devising a means of escape would be a better tactic," Roland replied.  
  
"It's rather cramped in here for someone of the Lizard Clan. The designer of this lift was undoubtedly an inconsiderate human," Dupa snorted.  
  
"Sir Borus, how did you get out the last time you were in this situation?" Nei asked carefully.  
  
By this point Borus had slumped to the ground with his back against the elevator wall, too tired, miserable, and drunk to exercise the panic he was feeling. "Well, last time I hacked through the doors with Hallec's axe and ended up in the courtyard fountain."  
  
"Fountain?" Dupa asked.  
  
"No point in askin' that fool," Ace muttered loudly, "Th' man's drunk!"  
  
"Yuh yuh yuh, the Grim Reaper takes the drunks first."  
  
"Ace, could you please try standing a little straighter, you're pushing me into Sir Roland!" Nei exclaimed desperately.  
  
"I'm sure he doeshn't mind in the leasht," Ace chortled.  
  
The two elves were suddenly grateful for the darkness, as it hid the blush that had risen in their faces.  
  
"By th' way, has anyone read th' paper lately?" Ace continued.  
  
Nei blushed even harder, and Roland cleared his throat. The two elves were very aware of Arthur's tabloid-like newspaper, and they had seen the article that exploited their growing feelings towards each other.  
  
"It was indecent of the boy to spread such rumors about Miss Nei and I..." The male elf stammered finally.  
  
Ace paused before responding. "What? I wus talkin' 'bout the 'Erks Adventure' series... Great ishn't it?"  
  
"Are you kidding, that's the lamest piece of trash I've ever had the misfortune of reading!" Borus called. The intoxicated knight was growing so agitated with Ace's blabbering that it almost overwhelmed his claustrophobia... but not quite.  
  
"It really is pretty bad," Anne agreed.  
  
Ace pouted. "Aww, c'mon now."  
  
"I love it," said Jeane.  
  
"Really?" Ace asked hopefully.  
  
"I haven't laughed so hard since I read that letter you sent me."  
  
Any intentions Ace might have had to tell the others that he was actually the author of 'Erk's Adventures' vanished, and the drunken man sulked in silence.  
  
"I... can't breathe..." Borus' claustrophobia was taking him to the brink of hysteria.  
  
"I smell death on you, yuh huh..."  
  
"Landis!" Nei exclaimed. "That's a horrible thing to say!"  
  
"Borus, how did you get out of here the first time?" Roland asked.  
  
"Jacques fixed it," Borus replied weakly.  
  
"Of course he had the advantage of having light as well," said Dupa miserably.  
  
"I'll feel around the panel and see if I can do anything..." Roland suggested.  
  
There was a couple moments of silence.  
  
"S-Sir Roland!"  
  
"F-forgive me Miss Nei!"  
  
No one dared to ask.  
  
More silence.  
  
"I say, Anne, jus' one more drink!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
There was some clanking around as Roland finally managed to remove the panel.  
  
"Can ya see wus wrong?"  
  
"Ace, it's pitch black, he can't see anything."  
  
"Oh, right..."  
  
Roland felt around behind the panel, but he didn't know what he was looking for, and he was just about the give up when he pushed something the wrong way and there was a loud cracking noise.  
  
"What was that?" Dupa asked.  
  
"It would appear that I just broke something," Roland replied simply.  
  
"Just great..."  
  
Just then there was a very loud thud by the elevator doors.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
Borus groaned.  
  
"Borus? Borus!"  
  
"What's going on, I can't see anything!" called Dupa.  
  
"I have a match, would tha' help?" Ace said suddenly.  
  
"You moron! Why didn't you say so in the first place!?" Anne asked furiously.  
  
"I forgot..."  
  
"Where is it!?"  
  
"It's in my pocket right- hey!"  
  
There was a rustling noise and the other occupants of the elevator could tell that Anne had taken it upon herself to search Ace's pockets for the matches.  
  
"Here!" she said finally.  
  
She struck the match, and a feeble light very dimly lit up the interior of the elevator.  
  
"... The elevator doors are open..." Roland noted simply.  
  
They all headed towards the exit, the elf knight getting to the exit first. However, there was something in the entrance of the elevator, and he tripped. The others tripped over each other in a chain reaction.  
  
Anne stumbled and dropped the match.  
  
"OW!" yelled Borus.  
  
Anne found herself lying on top of everyone else, and she pushed herself up and felt along the walls. They were in the hallway, so there was bound to be a candle on the wall somewhere...  
  
She felt the candle on the wall and lit it quickly. As the light flooded the hallway she saw the previous occupants of the elevator all lying in a heap on top of each other. Borus was on the bottom with a burn mark on his forehead where the match must have fallen.  
  
After everyone had gotten up off the floor and brushed themselves off, they regarded the elevator.  
  
"We didn't see when the elevator doors opened. They could have been open ever since the lights went out!" groaned Dupa.  
  
"We spent all that time in the elevator when we probably didn't have to," Roland surmised.  
  
"But what happened here? I tripped over Jeane on the way out!" Anne remarked.  
  
"Well, I tripped over Landis," said Jeane.  
  
"yuh yuh... I tripped over Dupa."  
  
"I tripped over Ace."  
  
"I tripped o'er Nei."  
  
"I tripped over Sir Roland."  
  
"Ungh... I tripped over Borus..."  
  
Anne turned to Borus, who was rubbing the burn mark on his forehead. "So, how did you end up on the floor, Borus?" she asked.  
  
Borus groaned drunkenly. "I went to lean against the elevator doors."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N: This is a reminder that I *do* in fact like Borus' character! You know, I considered changing this fics name to "Borus' Misadventures in the Elevator" or "The 'Where's Shizu?' Chronicles", but I think "Elevator Entourage" has a better ring to it, hehe.  
  
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure I'm satisfied with the ending of this one, but I tried. Any typos you might see in Ace's dialogue is probably supposed to be there... Borus may have been slightly ooc, but I'm not entirely sure what his personality is like when he's drunk, so I improvised. Also, I think I made Anne way meaner than her character permits, but I figured that being a bartender she'd have to be tough with the drunks, hehe.  
  
I really hope you liked it! Thanks for reading and as always, feel free to leave a friendly review. ^_^ 


	4. Floor Four

A/N: Aaaaaand we're back with part four to Borus' misadventures in the elevator! Man, I love writing these, even though they're really ridiculous! I must sincerely thank everyone who reviewed this fic, because I never imagined I'd get so many!!! I really really appreciate it!  
  
Borus, Geddoe, lil viki, Futch, Bright, Sanae, Leo, connie ________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Borus! There you are!"  
  
Startled by the gruff voice, Borus quickly slammed shut a book entitled "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Elevator Emergencies", and hid it behind his back as his fellow comrade, Leo, approached him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" the blonde knight asked quickly.  
  
"I was going to ask you the same thing," replied Leo, crossing his arms. "I was sent to find you, Chris wants us downstairs for a meeting pronto."  
  
"Very well, I'll be right there."  
  
"So why are you here in the library?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked around at the rows of dusty books.  
  
"I just eh... Nothing." Borus discretely slid the book behind his back onto the shelf.  
  
"Hmph. Well, let's get going. We're going to be late, so lets just take the elevator."  
  
"No!"  
  
"What?" Leo shook his head. "Please, don't tell me the stories that Percival, Roland and Chris have been telling me are true! That you're afraid of elevators!?"  
  
"Well, er-"  
  
Leo's eyes widened at Borus' divulging expression. "You are?!" Leo began to chuckle. "I can't believe all those stories are true! Haha! Well, why don't we get Viki to teleport you down?"  
  
Borus shuddered. "Please no... Last time I saw Viki, she sneezed and teleported the griffon on top of me."  
  
"I meant the other one. The 'young' one."  
  
Borus' eyes widened. "Are you kidding? That girl is... eerie. I don't trust her."  
  
Leo seemed to be looking past him. "Erm... Borus..."  
  
"What? I can't stand either of them. One is a complete airhead and the other is a creepy little witch."  
  
"Behind you..."  
  
Borus turned to see the very young, and very angry Viki glaring at him.  
  
Borus cursed under his breath. This little kid knew some powerful magic. He was in for it.  
  
Next he knew, he, Leo, and young Viki were in the elevator. Viki had teleported them there.  
  
"Ahh! Wh-what did you do!?" Borus shouted.  
  
Viki smirked. "I just wanted to see if the stories were true, as sir Leo said."  
  
"Please let me out!" Borus banged on the elevator doors. "I didn't mean what I said!"  
  
"Wow, looks like Perce and the others weren't exaggerating," Leo commented, watching his comrade beat manically against the unyielding doors.  
  
"All I can say," Viki replied calmly, "is that you had better hope that I don't teleport a griffon on top of you."  
  
"Okay, I apologize! Elder Viki's not an airhead! Please let me out!"  
  
The young mage raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Alright alright, and you're not a creepy witch either!"  
  
Viki released a long sigh and the elevator doors opened.  
  
Borus was going to rejoice, but found himself laying flat on his back on the elevator floor with a massive weight on top of him. It was scaly. It was white. It was Bright the dragon.  
  
"Viki!" Borus choked from underneath the dragon. "Why did you teleport Bright in here? I learnt my lesson from just being in this wretched elevator, believe me!"  
  
"I didn't teleport him in here," Viki stated simply.  
  
"Wha-?" coughed Borus.  
  
"Futch, get that bloody dragon out of here! A creature that size can't fit in an elevator!" boomed Leo's voice.  
  
"Oh, I didn't realize anyone else was in the elevator... I'm sorry, but Bright goes everywhere I do," replied Futch's.  
  
"Get him out!" Roared Leo. "He's sitting on my colleague's head!"  
  
"What?" Futch looked down and saw Borus' feet sticking out from underneath Bright and gasped. "Oh no! Sir Borus! I'm terribly sorry! I didn't realize! Ohhh, I hope Sharon doesn't find out about this! She'll tell her mother and I'll be demoted!"  
  
"Leo. Futch. Stop arguing and help me get him off." It was Geddoe.  
  
"Viki, can't you teleport Bright off?"  
  
The girl shrugged. "The question is, will I. And the answer is no."  
  
Leo snarled at the girl who stood in the corner of the elevator, not lifting a finger to help. "Why you little-"  
  
"Drop it Leo, we don't need her. Just grab the beast's tail and pull."  
  
Futch scowled. "Hey he's not-"  
  
Geddoe glared at him and Futch did not finish his protest.  
  
"Oh my... What's going on here?"  
  
All, except for Borus who was still suffocating under the dragon, turned to see Sanae Y at the entrance of the elevator, looking at them with a concerned expression on her face.  
  
"Miss Sanae," Leo said in a strained voice, nodding towards Futch. "This blockhead shoved his dragon into the elevator and now Sir Borus is trapped underneath. Do you mind giving us a hand?"  
  
The polite girl bowed her head slightly. "Oh, of course! I would be honored to help! I would have helped sooner, but I was not aware that Sir Borus was trapped beneath... I simply thought the dragon was stuck in the elevator. Forgive me for saying so, but it was not very wise of sir Futch to put a dragon in such a contained space to begin with. One would think that-"  
  
"Sanae!" Geddoe interrupted irritably as he pulled at the dragon who was not budging an inch.  
  
The girl quickly bowed again. "Forgive me! I'll help!"  
  
She squeezed into the elevator and joined Leo, Geddoe and Futch in pushing the confused and dislocated dragon.  
  
"Kuee!?"  
  
"I'm so sorry Bright! I hope you're going to be okay!" Futch patted the dragon.  
  
"Begging your pardon," choked Borus from under the dragon in a muffled voice, "but I fear that I'm the one who's not going to be okay!"  
  
"At least we know he's still alive under there!" Leo commented. "Hold on Borus!"  
  
"Ungh, at least the griffon was soft and not all scaly..." grumbled Borus rather incoherently.  
  
"This is too amusing." Young Viki suppressed a laugh as Borus' face turned purple with lack of oxygen. That'd teach him for badmouthing her.  
  
"Don't think you aren't going to have to answer for this!" Leo growled at her.  
  
"I've done nothing wrong!" Viki replied. "I'm not the one who pushed a 400 pound dragon in this shaky lift!"  
  
"She has a point," Sanae nodded.  
  
Futch glared at her.  
  
Suddenly, the elevator doors closed, and the lift started to descend, and quite shakily. It seemed that the weight of six people and a dragon were too much for the old elevator.  
  
"Ah! Who pushed the button?!" Futch cried.  
  
"It's probably someone on another floor wanting to use the elevator," Geddoe replied with a sigh.  
  
"Where the heck is Shizu?!" asked Leo.  
  
"That is the question, isn't it?" muttered Borus.  
  
The elevator came to a halt. The doors did not open. They were stuck. No one said a word for a full minute.  
  
"I've said it many times," coughed Borus finally, "but I'm going to say it again... I. Hate. This. Bloody. Elevator."  
  
Borus passed out from lack of oxygen.  
  
"Now what? He's lost consciousness!" Sanae's forehead wrinkled in concern.  
  
"Viki, you've had enough revenge, get us out of here!" Leo bellowed.  
  
Viki sighed resignedly. "Truth be told... I used the last of my magic getting us into the elevator... I have to 'recharge'."  
  
"Are you lying?" asked Geddoe simply.  
  
Viki shook her head. "Why would I still be here? Even if I wanted all of you to suffer, I would have at least teleported myself out if I could. As it is, we're just going to have to wait for someone to come and rescue us."  
  
"Kueee!!!" the dragon seemed to be panicking, and his massive tail began flailing about the tiny elevator.  
  
Futch tried in vain to soothe the dragon. "Whoa, easy Bright! Easy!"  
  
But the thick tail hit Sanae full in the face, knocking her against the wall.  
  
"Sanae!" Futch called.  
  
"Ungh..." Sanae rubbed her nose, which was bleeding. "Hey, your dragon broke my glasses!"  
  
"I'm sorry, he's just a little spooked."  
  
"My glasses!" Sanae Y leaped over the dragon and tackled Futch in an uncharacteristic rage.  
  
"Who would have thought the mouse would get so protective of her specs." Viki shook her head.  
  
"Look, you," Leo boomed at the girl. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be in this predicament!"  
  
"All of you, stop fighting," Geddoe said. No one listened. He didn't repeat himself. Instead, the mercenary knelt and felt under the dragon for Borus' arm.  
  
Just then, the elevator doors slid open and a small dog poked her head around the corner. It was Connie.  
  
No one noticed that the doors were open at first, and the dog looked uncomprehendingly at the scene before her. Sanae was looking like a madwoman, her glasses askew and broken as she tried to strangle a terrified Futch. Leo looked like he was just about to pull an axe out on Viki, who was looking rather murderous herself. Borus' arm was sticking out from under a large dragon, and Geddoe was testing the limp arm for a pulse with a doubtful expression on his face.  
  
Finally, Connie cautiously stepped into the elevator. That's when everyone finally noticed her. She blinked at the chaos around her before calmly grabbing Bright's tail in her mouth. She began to tug. And, as everyone in the elevator bared witness, the little dog dragged the 400 pound dragon off of Borus, and out of the elevator.  
  
No one moved. No one even remembered to check if Borus was still alive. They simply stood there staring at Connie with their mouths hanging open. Even Geddoe.  
  
The dog scratched behind her ears with her hind leg and then trotted off without a care in the world.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N: I know Viki was meaner than she should have been, but whatever. Once again, thank you so much for reading, and thank you for your supportive and encouraging reviews! 


	5. Floor Five

A/N: I finally got another one of these up! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic, and I apologize for not having updated this in so long! It's actually my latest fic, "Web of Lies" that inspired this episode. Many of the characters in this installment of EE are the characters featured in WoL. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Borus emerged from his room at Budehuc castle late one morning with a sleepy yawn. Chris had given him the day off, and so he had seized the opportunity to sleep in. As he walked down the hallway, he felt completely content. He didn't have to fight today, he didn't have to attend any strategy meetings.  
  
And he didn't have to go into any elevators.  
  
Just as he was about to descend the stairs, he saw a young freckled boy with glasses running towards him.  
  
"Sir Borus of the Zexen Knights?" the boy asked, huffing as he reached the top of the stairs.  
  
"I am," replied Borus with a smile. The kid was holding a pen and paper. Perhaps he wanted his autograph?  
  
"My name is Arthur, I write for the Budehuc Times. I'd like to ask you a few questions."  
  
"About what?" Borus asked, slightly disappointed that the kid wasn't there for his autograph.  
  
"Well, there have been several reports of you going ballistic in a malfunctioning elevator. I'd like to know if that is true," the boy stated, matter-of-factly.  
  
Borus instantly got his back up at the word 'ballistic'. "I'm a trained knight of Zexen, one of the Mighty Six! We don't panic in any situation."  
  
"That's not what I've heard," replied Arthur with an aggravatingly polite smile. "I've heard that you are quite claustrophobic, and have gone into hysterics on several occasions while in the castle's elevator."  
  
"Who told you that?!" Borus thundered.  
  
"I'm afraid that's confidential."  
  
Borus grabbed the boy by the shirt, teeth bared.  
  
"NashCaesarandPercival!" Arthur exclaimed hastily.  
  
Borus shoved the boy roughly away from him. He should have guessed Nash and Caesar (he'd deal with them later) but Percival! He was going to kill him!  
  
Borus stormed off towards the library, not because he wanted to reread 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Elevator Emergencies', but because he wanted to get away from the prying boy.  
  
However, as he approached the library, another boy in a gray cap emerged from the doors.  
  
"Sir Borus! Just the man I was looking for." This boy also flipped open a notebook and whipped out a pen. "Now, tell me about your recent experiences of going mad in an elevator."  
  
Having gone mad at the word 'mad', Borus towered over the boy and practically growled, "Who are you?!"  
  
"Kidd the detective," Kidd replied briskly. "Now I've heard many rumors from residents in the castle, and I have found many vital clues that support the witnesses' testimonies."  
  
"Like what?!"  
  
"Like the fact that you've checked 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Elevator Emergencies', and 'Claustrophobic Cures' out of the library multiple times. Thirty-six times in the past two months, actually," Kidd finished, consulting his notebook to verify this fact.  
  
Borus was overcome by rage. He was about to say something very nasty to the boy when Arthur came running up behind him.  
  
"Back off Kidd, he's my story!"  
  
Kidd pointed his pen at Arthur. "No way, he's my suspect! You back off!"  
  
The kids started yelling angrily at each other.  
  
Borus, feeling trapped between the two squabbling boys, tried to back away from the situation. He really didn't want to make a statement to either of these kids. His back hit something. A door. His escape!  
  
He turned around and nearly passed out in horror.  
  
It was the door to the elevator.  
  
Just then, the two boys immediately stopped arguing and were staring at Borus in front of the elevator door. An almost sadistic gleam came into their eyes, and Borus realized this could only mean very bad news for him.  
  
"You know Arthur, we could work together on this... Together we could have a first hand experience of the suspect's actions in an elevator," Kidd said, with a slightly sadistic smile.  
  
"You know Kidd, I reckon you're right," Arthur replied, nodding his head at Kidd.  
  
Kidd dashed up beside Borus and punched the button to open the elevator door. As the door opened, Arthur ran full speed into Borus and pushed him into the elevator.  
  
"Nooo!" cried Borus.  
  
Borus shut his eyes tight for impact as he and Arthur landed with a crash inside the elevator. When he opened his eyes, a strange, white mask was staring down at him.  
  
"Ahhh!" Borus shouted, startled, and tried desperately to get the boy off of him so he could bolt out of the elevator.  
  
"I must say, this is rather unusual," the mask commented. Borus could see the mask was attached to the face of a man. It was Nadir, the producer of all Budehuc's cheesy plays.  
  
"Help me!" Borus exclaimed.  
  
But Nadir did nothing as Kidd scooted into the elevator and tackled Borus alongside Arthur.  
  
A dog barked, and a slimy tongue licked Borus' face.  
  
"Argh! Why is there a dog in here?" Borus cried, pushing the dog away with one arm and trying to push the two kids off of him with the other.  
  
Nadir stared down at him, completely nonplussed by the commotion that was occurring before him. "I was just bringing this dog – Kogoro, I think his name is – to Master Thomas. He completely ruined my play. I must insist that dogs should not be permitted on stage!"  
  
"Well that's very nice but, do you think you could help me out here!?" Borus exclaimed in exasperation.  
  
"Sorry, sir knight, business is first you know. Come on, you mongrel," Nadir said to Kogoro, and tried to make his way around the fighting trio when another figure appeared at the entrance to the elevator.  
  
"What in the world is going on here?" It was Salome.  
  
"Salome, help me!" Borus pleaded as the boys continued to keep him down, the dog continued to slobber on his face, and Nadir continued to stare unhelpfully.  
  
"Quick, shut the elevator doors!" cried Arthur. Borus, having finally thrown the boys off, was now wrestling with Kogoro.  
  
Kidd jumped to his feet and jammed the button. The elevator door closed, but not before Salome had gotten inside.  
  
Borus finally got to his feet, his face draining when he saw the door shut.  
  
Salome looked sternly at the two boys. "What exactly did you think you were doing?"  
  
"Investigating!" replied Kidd.  
  
"Research!" replied Arthur.  
  
Salome scowled even more. "This can be considered assault, you know! We could quite easily throw you in the dungeon for this!"  
  
Borus, though grateful to Salome for taking his side, did not like the thought of people believing he could be assaulted by a couple of kids.  
  
"Nevermind that, Salome... They couldn't harm me. But in the future, you kids must remember to show the Zexen knights the respect they deserve!," he spoke hastily. The elevator was now quite crowded, and all the tips he'd read in 'Claustrophobia Cure" were leaving his mind fast.  
  
"You know," Nadir suddenly began, "that was a wonderful performance! I just know the three of you would make astounding actors! Especially you, sir Borus. Why, you have the mark of a true actor!"  
  
"I wasn't acting!" Borus bellowed.  
  
"The only thing he's been marked by is the dog," Kidd snickered.  
  
Sure enough, when Borus looked down, Korogo had urinated on his iron boots.  
  
"Better clean those up soon, you wouldn't want your armor to rust," Arthur added.  
  
Borus glowered at them. "Hold your tongue! The both of you!"  
  
"And you," Salome turned to Nadir. "What were you doing here?"  
  
"I'm looking for Master Thomas," the masked man replied, with a graceful bowing of his head.  
  
"Well you're on the wrong floor."  
  
"Am I?"  
  
"Yes. Master Thomas is on the old ship."  
  
"I'm getting out!" Borus cried, pushing the button to open the door.  
  
The door opened, but in the next instant he was on the floor with a giant bug butt on his face.  
  
"Bzzzz!"  
  
"Hold on Ruby, looks like this will be a bit of a tight fit," it was Franz of Le Buque and his giant flying bug, Ruby.  
  
The young man squeezed into the elevator beside his pet bug. "Oh hello! I didn't realize there were so many people in here already."  
  
"Franz!" Salome called. "Creatures of that size are not permitted on this elevator!"  
  
"Ruby isn't a 'creature'!" Franz protested.  
  
"Bzzz!"  
  
Salome pointed out the elevator. "Get him out of here, he's on top of Sir Borus!"  
  
Franz looked down to see Borus' arms flailing out from under Ruby. "Really!? Oh no!"  
  
"Yes, he's being squashed like a bug," commented Nadir, inappropriately jovial.  
  
"No, actually I'm being squashed BY a bug!" came Borus' muffled cry from somewhere under Ruby's rump.  
  
"Rather ironic, wouldn't you say?" Arthur said.  
  
"At least we know he's alive," said Kidd.  
  
Nadir pressed a button, the door closed once again, and the elevator began to descend.  
  
"What are you doing?!" asked Salome in exasperation.  
  
"I need to get downstairs to see Master Thomas," he explained.  
  
"Couldn't you have waited until we get this bug out?"  
  
Nadir waved his hand dismissively. "Well I suppose, but this is more interesting. In fact, it's a great premise for a play, wouldn't you say? I would call it, 'Under the Bottom of the Bug Beast'."  
  
"He's not a beast!" Franz exclaimed.  
  
"You're dead when I get out of here!" Borus cried frantically. "All of you are!"  
  
"Oh, the hysterics begin!" Arthur exclaimed in excitement, flipping open his notepad and scribbling in it feverishly.  
  
Kidd took his lead and began taking his own notes.  
  
"As soon as the elevator gets to the basement, you're all going to help me move this wretched thing off of Sir Borus!"  
  
"He's not a wretch-"  
  
"Franz, for Sadie's sake, just be quiet," interrupted Salome sternly.  
  
Suddenly the elevator came to a creaky and abrupt halt. Salome pushed the button to open the door, but nothing happened.  
  
Borus screamed, despite his decreased ability to breathe properly under Ruby's immense weight. "We're trapped again!!! Again! What did I do to deserve this!?"  
  
Arthur and Kidd scribbled in their notebooks faster than ever.  
  
"He's right, we can't get out," Salome stated. "The doors won't open. Actually I don't think we've reached the basement yet. We must be somewhere in between."  
  
"What kind of an elevator is this!?" Franz yelled angrily.  
  
"If it wasn't for you, bug boy, we probably wouldn't be in this mess to begin with!" Kidd exclaimed, although he didn't look too concerned, as he didn't look back from his notepad when he said this.  
  
"Oh, so this is all my fault?" Franz asked angrily. "There's no reason why Ruby shouldn't be allowed on the elevator! He goes with me everywhere!"  
  
"What is it with you people and your giant birds, lizards and bugs!?" Borus called hysterically.  
  
Nadir was now contemplating the details of the play he would write about Borus' misfortunes. "The play could contain a heart-wrenching narration... 'Borus, once a brave Zexen knight, had now reached the pinnacle of despair, and his spirit and courage were crushed just as his mangled body had been beneath the monster. His very life was now at the mercy of the bug's butt.' Oh, the audience will be in tears!"  
  
"Bored to tears, you mean," Arthur said, wrinkling his nose. "You're not much of a writer, Nadir."  
  
Before Nadir could reply, Salome broke up the conversation. "Enough of this! We need to find a way to get this elevator moving again."  
  
"Where's Shizu, anyway?" Franz asked. "Does anyone know?"  
  
"Does anyone ever know?" Borus spat.  
  
Salome shook his head. "Well I don't, but if we don't find a way out, we could be stuck here for hours!"  
  
"Just let me die already..." Borus moaned, still muffled by Ruby.  
  
"Franz, climb to the top of the elevator through that trapdoor up there," Salome commanded, paying no heed to Borus' plea.  
  
Suddenly, Borus became even more crushed into the elevator floor as the extra weight of Franz was added to Ruby's. Franz had climbed on top of the bug to get through the trapdoor as Salome instructed.  
  
"Okay," called Franz from on top of the elevator. "I'm up. What am I looking for?"  
  
"Can you see where we are?" Salome asked.  
  
"Well," Franz answered, "A few feet up the cable I can see a door. Probably to the first floor."  
  
"Can you climb up the cable and open it?" Salome called.  
  
"One minute." And there was a scuffling noise as Franz climbed the elevator's cables.  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
"You know, I don't think 'maliciously insane', is quite the right term to use," Kidd said, looking over Arthur's shoulder at his notes on Borus. "I would say he's mad but not harmful. Except to himself that is."  
  
If Borus weren't slowly having the life crushed out of him by an over-sized fly, he would have exploded with rage. As it was, it was all he could do to emit a faint growl of disproval.  
  
"Who asked you?" Arthur said to Kidd, turning to him and jabbing a finger at him.  
  
"Just my professional opinion as a detective," Kidd replied haughtily.  
  
"You're not a professional! You're just some snooping kid!"  
  
"And you're just a bratty kid who writes amateur tabloid newspapers!"  
  
"I should have known better than to agree to working with you!"  
  
"Likewise!"  
  
The two boys were now nose-to-nose, full of indignation, and they continued to squabble while Salome strained to hear a report from Franz.  
  
"It's no use," Franz finally shouted down into the elevator after several minutes. "I can't open the door. I'll need to pry it open with something."  
  
"Pry it open?" Salome repeated.  
  
"Yeah. With something that's kind of thin and curved."  
  
Everyone turned to Nadir.  
  
"What?" he asked nervously.  
  
"Mask, off," Franz said.  
  
"What?!" Nadir exclaimed.  
  
"You're mask is thin enough and curved just right to pry the door up here open. I'll be needing it if you ever want to get out of here," Franz replied.  
  
"No, I mustn't!" There was evident panic in Nadir's voice now.  
  
"Come now, we just need it for a few moments," Salome coaxed.  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Borus is going to suffocate if we don't get out of here soon!" the tactician exclaimed.  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
With the last of his strength, Borus freed his arm from beneath Ruby and shook his fist at Nadir.  
  
Kidd and Arthur stopped squabbling long enough to get the gist of the current situation, and the two jumped on Nadir and started to pry the mask off his face.  
  
"Come on, just give him the stupid mask," Kidd said, fighting against Nadir.  
  
"Yeah, I can't stand being here another minute with this nosey, idiot kid anymore!" Arthur replied.  
  
"Likewise!"  
  
"Nooo!" Nadir screamed, and the three of them fell to the floor.  
  
Nadir turned towards the wall just as the mask was knocked off his face and flew into Salome's hand.  
  
"Here Franz, hurry!" Salome said, and tossed the mask up to Franz. Franz scurried back up the elevator cable out of sight.  
  
"I wonder what he's been hiding under that mask," Kidd commented, looking at Nadir, who was hiding his face in his hands, facing the corner.  
  
"What's really behind the mask – what a story this would make!" Arthur exclaimed.  
  
"No," said Salome firmly. "Leave him be."  
  
"But-" started Kidd and Arthur together.  
  
"No! Leave him, or you'll have to answer to lady Chris, Geddoe, and Hugo."  
  
The two boys fell into an insolent silence. Kogoro poked his head under Nadir's arm and tried to peek under his hands.  
  
"Hurry Franz!" Salome called again up the elevator. "Borus has stopped squirming under Ruby, I'm beginning to fear the worst!"  
  
"Got it!" Franz called finally.  
  
Suddenly, the elevator began to move again, and then the elevator door opened to find Franz standing triumphantly on the other side, still holding Nadir's mask.  
  
"I have no clue why the elevator stopped like that," Franz said to the others. "When I pushed the button from out here, it started working as though there was nothing wrong with it."  
  
"Well at least we're out. Help me free Borus. You two help as well," said Salome, looking at Kidd and Arthur.  
  
Ruby made a loud buzzing noise, but did not seem to want to leave his new comfortable chair that was Borus, so it was with great difficulty that, Salome, Franz, Kidd, and Arthur managed to push Ruby off of Borus and out of the elevator.  
  
Salome rushed to Borus and checked his arm for a pulse. He then began lightly slapping Borus' face in an attempt to rouse him.  
  
"Please..." whimpered Nadir from the corner. "My mask..."  
  
Franz hesitated for a moment and then slid the mask across the floor to the man huddled in the corner of the elevator. "Here you go... Um... thanks."  
  
Nadir felt around behind him until he found the mask, and then immediately fixed it back over his face. Once the mask was in place, he straightened, called Kogoro to follow him, and marched off without saying another word.  
  
Borus then awoke, and upon remember his situation, scrambled out of the elevator, breathing heavily.  
  
"Thank heavens, I'm out... I just can't take this anymore!"  
  
"Take deep breaths, Borus," Salome said.  
  
"What happened with Nadir's mask? I must've passed out after I shook my fist at him."  
  
"We got it and used it to open the door on the first floor. Kidd and Arthur tried to look at Nadir while he was unmasked, but I stopped them, and Franz returned the mask as soon as he was finished with it.  
  
"You didn't see his face?"  
  
"Of course not!" Salome said incredulously. "We had to leave the man his dignity!"  
  
"I don't see why," Borus grumbled. "No one ever bothers to leave me mine."

* * *

A/N: I hope you liked it! Forgive me for any typos, I probably didn't proofread this as well as I should have, I always write these things late at night. Friendly reviews are welcome and appreciated! 


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